We are winding down the days of this deployment and today was NOT a good day. :( First off, I am PMSing and that makes my temper very very short. For example, I generally don't call to complain about things but when I got home from Publix yesterday, I noticed the bagging lady put the Ammonia in a bag with food! Who does that?!?!? I had a perfectly good bag of trash bags it could have gone with, but nope.....let's put the cleaning chemical in with food.... good idea. So, I had to call and tell the manager. Of course I did not notice her doing this in the store because I was too busy keeping my 3 year old from pressing too many buttons and canceling my transaction before it went through.
That brings be to today. When I got home from the gym I found a huge buzzard in our trash!!!!! And of course he couldn't get the bag that actually had trash in it, nope he got the one that had the shredded paper in it. Lovely. (Hi Murphy, I could have lived without seeing you again).
Also at the gym I missed two skype calls from my husband. I HATE missing his calls, (it makes my stomach twist all up in knots and get icky) and I did not do it on purpose, I was literally in the middle of a class lifting weights. When I was done with that song, I checked my phone, saw I missed the calls and stepped out to call him back. He didn't answer. :(
Let me start off by saying I am a people pleaser. I cannot help it, I have been this way my whole life and it is a struggle to let things roll off my back. I want everyone around me to be happy, and sometimes it's at my expense. So, when hubby finally called me back I could tell he was NOT happy. I have no idea why. I know it has something to do with me, but he didn't want to get into it right then. However, with him where he is, who knows when he will call me back. :( I HATE leaving things unresolved. It literally eats me up inside. I worry about it constantly. I also hate thinking that he's mad at me for something. I try soooo hard to do things right and to make him happy. I love him with my whole heart and just want him to be happy, so it kills me inside when he is not. I know he loves me and is happy with me. He really is an amazing father and husband. I feel very lucky to be married to him. I just cannot stand that our conversation was left with him upset and me not knowing why. I hate that I don't know when I will hear from him again. I just pray to God that he will be safe and can call again soon. I don't like leaving things this way.
I can't really explain the feeling I get inside when someone is mad at me. It's like it physically makes me sick. I can't eat, it's hard to sleep and it's the only thing that is on my mind. I want it fixed and I want it fixed NOW. However, when you are dealing with another person a lot of that is out of your control.
I can't stand the thought that he is mad at me. I hope he calls soon. I love him so very much!