Monday, September 24, 2012

Meet our newest family member

Meet our newest family member......Roxy!

We already have our kitty named Trevor and didn't put two and two together that we have Trevor and Roxy (from Army Wives) until my best Army Wife friend pointed it out to me. How funny is that???

We weren't planning on getting a puppy yet, we had been planning on maybe for Christmas, but a trip to a puppy store changed that plan.

My husband has been wanting a puppy for a LONG time. He has wanted a Maltese or a Shih Tzu because they don't shed. We ended up with a pure breed Shih Tzu. She is super cute!!

The first puppy we saw was a spaz. I swear this puppy was eating and biting anything that came close to it. I was NOT having a spastic puppy in our house. The second puppy we saw was the complete opposite and let Baby E pretty much mawl the poor thing. That wouldn't work very well in our house either. This little gem was the perfect mix of both. She played with the kids, but instead of biting she starting licking everyone.

She has been a very good puppy so far. We are in the process of potty training her (yea let's add a puppy to training a toddler) :) she is doing good for the most part.

I have a lot more to update on, but that will have to be done another day. I am tired and ready for bed.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

9 months

Oh my! Where has the time gone? Our little baby girl is 9 months old today. It's hard to believe that she is this old already. I know I missed the 8 month post, so I will try and make it up.

Baby E,
You are one of the most amazing kids I have ever had the priviledge of parenting. (your brother is the other amazing one) You are happy 99% of the time. You have special smiles saved for daddy. You are very attached to your daddy. You and him have your own games that you won't play with anyone else. You get so excited every time you see him.

You are on the move. You can army crawl like a champ. Today you finally started crawling on our new floor and are quite proud of yourself.
We are so very blessed to have you in our life. You are the light of our life and complete our family. You are such a happy girl and we couldn't be any luckier.
You are mimicking everything we do and it is so cute. You growl and play peek-a-boo. You love when people talk to you and play with you, but you hate when people yell or shout. Daddy tries to scare you all of the time, you finally stopped screaming every time he does it.

She is such a ham when a camera is out

Our pretty girl

An outfit is not complete without butt ruffles!
These past 8 months have flown by. I can't believe that in 3 short months you will be a year old! We are so proud of you Baby E and love you so very much! Happy 9 months pretty girl!


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Reintegration- The truth as I see it

Finding out about a deployment sucks, the deployments sucks like you wouldn't believe, but hard, very hard and anyone who tells you it's all roses and wine isn't telling you the whole truth. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having my husband home, I love that our family is whole again and that he is safe. We have a LOT of easy days, but man oh man, we have had quite a few that were WAY harder than I ever expected.
First lets start with the sleeping. I love having someone to share the bed with. However, I don't generally share the bed with him......because he doesn't sleep at night. His sleep is so screwed up that we generally share the bed for only about 2-3 hours a night. I feel so bad for him, because I don't know how to help him get some sleep at a "normal" time. He also falls asleep all.of.the.time. We will be watching TV after dinner, and boom.....he's out. I hate waking him because it's obvious he needs his sleep, but I know I cannot let him sleep all afternoon either. I would just like to be on the same or close to the same sleep schedule. It makes it hard for me to go to bed at a decent hour if he is wide awake when I want to go to bed.
Second, finding our routine. This one has proved to be the hardest thus far. Not only did he come home from a year long deployment (we were separated for 342 days total) I also went back to work the very next week. If I am honest, we don't have a routine yet. We need to find one quick though. I would like to get back to the gym and lose the 10lbs I've gained since he came home. :( But that cannot happen until we can find our balance and our routine. Also I think it will help us as a family to have a more constant routine. I know the kids act better when their schedules aren't interrupted or changed all of the time. emotions. Oh lord. My emotions go from one extreme to another in a matter of seconds. I am so very excited and relieved to have him home and out of harms way. Trust me I am. But then I find myself getting worked up about the smallest, stupidest stuff and I'm not sure why. I find myself getting annoyed that he has fallen asleep on the couch, or that when Baby E starts crying he doesn't just jump up and make her a bottle. But then again why would he do that? He doesn't know the kids like I do anymore. He doesn't understand what Baby E wants because he doesn't know her like I do. That's the part that kills me too. He not only has to re-learn me, but he has to re-learn the kids too. The kids still come to me for everything. I have to ask them to ask daddy when I need his help, or ask him to do something.......we all know how much I love asking for help. There are moments I just want to cry and moments I am so happy I can't sit still.
My temper has been VERY short lately and I have no clue as to why. I am sure part of it is I haven't dealt with my emotions from when M was gone yet. They are still packed away, where I tucked them as I trucked on this past year. I have a tendency to do that. If I don't want to deal with the emotion or process it, I push it aside and tell myself I'll deal with it later. Yea, I haven't dealt with those days where fear grips you so hard that you literally cannot breath. Those moments when you are so afraid for your husband's life that you are stopped dead in your tracks. I haven't dealt with my fear of the possibility of losing him over there, and having no control over it. Not knowing if our conversation was our last one. I don't like those emotions or that amount of fear. It scared the crap out of me!
I have lost the ability to fully relax. When you are a single parent, you don't get a moment to yourself. You come home from work and it's dinner time, play with the kids, bath time, play time, bed time.....and by then you are so exhausted that you go to bed or get those last few housekeeping things done. I have taken time off for myself while M was gone, but I don't think I ever fully relaxed in that time. I don't know how to make myself not worry about the dishes or what has to be done next and just enjoy the quiet or the moment. How sad and crazy is that?
With M being in the Reserves we don't get a month off to just hang out and get reacquainted. We jump back into civilian life and my job. We didn't get that month to visit family or just be together. To go on dates and get to know each other again. We were thrust back into the real world with our children and real life and having to make time for each other, as well as the kids, again. It's hard. It's hard to leave in the morning, when all I want to do is spend time with him. I love the weekends when we can run errands together, or do something together, but those go by too quickly and Monday always rolls around. The balance between civilian life and army life gets tough at times.
Don't get me wrong, there are LOTS of great things about reintegration. I LOVE having him home to just be with. To have an adult to talk to at night, or at dinner is amazing. Not having to talk to him through a crappy skype connection is amazing. Being able to just reach out and touch him is AMAZING! I love that my best friend is back. Even if we have both changed and haven't found our routine together yet, I LOVE having him home. I LOVE watching him play with the kids and watching Baby E fall in love with her daddy. I LOVE having someone to share the raising of our children with.
I just wish more people were honest about how difficult reintegration can be. The sad thing is, I don't even think ours is that hard, I'm sure there are people out there having a worse time than us and my heart breaks for them. I think people need to remember that we still need to offer our support to our fellow Army spouses, even after the deployment is over. We still need support until life can resume again.

Has anyone else that has gone through reintegration dealt with any of this?

Friday, September 7, 2012

Milspouse First Friday Fill-In

It's that time again. Time to link up with Wife of a Sailor for the Milspouse First Friday Fill In!!!!

1. What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?
Maybe learning how to relax a little. I have been VERY stressed lately and I have no idea what the cause is. I don't like it, but I'm not sure I've done a whole ton to change it either. Kind of sad when you think about it. Hopefully I can do better.

2. What was your favorite thing that happened in August? 
M CAME HOME!!!!!! (I thought that deserved all caps)

3. What did you do to celebrate Labor Day?
M, the kids and I ran errands. We ended up buying the laminate for our floors and a brand new bedroom set! I am super excited for both! The laminate because we get to get rid of the yucky blue carpet that is in the dinning room and the tiles in the kitchen that are no longer attached to the floor. Plus this is the first time I've been able to pick out a brand new bedroom set. Plus it's a king bed and an awesome new mattress that will hopefully help M's back! :)

4. What do you HAVE to have handy by your bedside?
My phone and my ipad. I need my phone in case someone calls or texts and I use it as my back up alarm. My ipad because I use it like a computer and it also has my nook app on it. :) I've been trying to read more lately.

5. What are you looking forward to in September?
Shannon, my Army Wife Battle Buddy is coming to visit!!!!!!!! I cannot wait to see her and her son and hopefully have at least one date to Olive Garden. Hopefully we will be able to get the guys together as well. :)

Saturday, September 1, 2012

M's Homecoming

Our pictures are finally in, so here is the story of the day of M's homecoming. As you know we had been waiting to here when he would be released from Ft. Bliss to finally come home. Monday August 6th I was out to dinner with M's Grandparents when I got the call that M would finally be coming home the next day! I was so excited!!!! The butterflies started, right then and there. It's a strange feeling to be nervous to see your husband.....I mean he's your husband, you shouldn't be nervous to see him. But I was. I hate the unknown, and I didn't know how this time apart had changed us. Would he still be my same husband, or would he be so changed, that maybe we wouldn't fit together anymore. Not to mention I was so relieved to know he was home and safe. He wasn't in a place where people were trying to hurt him. Our family was FINALLY going to be complete.
I had told M that I really wanted a photographer at his homecoming, he knew it was important to me. That night I found out the one photographer I finally found mostly likely wasn't going to be able to take our pictures. So, my amazing husband called his Uncle, who agreed to come and take pictures. (he's pretty amazing huh?)
Tuesday morning I got up with the kids and cleaned the house. There wasn't too much to do because I had been cleaning for the past 5 days, a great way to keep control of the nervous energy. :) I played with the kids, gave them baths and fed them lunch. Once Baby E went down for her nap, it was time for Little L and I to go outside and decorate the house. It turned out so good! I'm pretty proud of it :)
I bought little flags to line the driveway

I had this made at
The banner I put up on the house I had made at If you have a soldier returning from deployment, you get a free sign, just pay for shipping. I think the sign I made turned out awesome! I designed the banner myself, and I'm pretty darn proud of it. :)
Finally it was time for me to get ready.
My dress
I of course took too long to get ready, so we were scrambling around, trying to get out the door on time. I wanted to be at the airport in plenty of time, in case his plane got in early. On our way up to the airport, my photographer called and said she got out of her training on time and would be able to meet us at the airport!!!!! I was soooo excited!!!! My biffle was also going to make it. She was coming for moral support. You need a lot to keep you occupied while waiting for your spouse to arrive, let me tell you. :)
We got the kids all situated then headed up to the gate area. That is where I also met Matt's uncle and found out he had brought Matt's grandparents. I thought ok, no big deal. It was no big deal until I found out they were going to go through security and meet him at the gate.....without me and the kids! I was LIVID!!!!! There wasn't time for me to get the kids and all of our crap through security, plus it's just a hassle. I figured once I said I wasn't going, they would stay back too.....nope.....they went! I don't think I can convey the shear amount of annoyed I was at this moment. This was OUR homecoming, they weren't even supposed to be there.
Finally they announced the arrival of his plane!!!! Let the butterflies begin again. Of course they didn't let him off first, so it took him awhile. Once I finally saw him, it was like all was right in the world again. We have survived our first deployment. Only time will tell how much each of us has changed, but I believe our love is strong enough to endure anything. We will work out whatever needs to be done and our relationship will only grow stronger from here. It is amazing having him home and having our family complete again.
Finally, here are the pictures from the photographer and M's uncle.

The shirts I made for the kids turned out really cute!

He's here!!!!